It’s in my tag line, living a fabulous life, but what do I mean by it?
Is it money, clothes, trips, luxuries? Is it running a marathon, climbing a mountain, kayaking down a river?
No none of those, for me at least.
Living everyday in pain, constantly being sick. Having to juggle not only physical chronic disease but also mental illness.
It. Is. A. Full. Time. Job.
I never get a break from it. I am told to take so many medications. I try so many treatments that people tell me I must be doing. Obviously if I just did this or this I would surely get better. It worked for so and so, it will work for me.
Somethings have helped, but there are no cures. And everything must forever be managed. To live my life in constant, but *maybe* not debilitating pain, I must take and do everything on such a strict schedule.
Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Bi Weekly. Monthly. Bi Yearly.
And after doing everything right, there are so many times when nothing still works as how it should. There are no guarantees any of the things that should work will work. They often fail.
What a fabulous life I live!
No but really, I really feel like I have a pretty fabulous life despite all of this bullshit. And it’s a great deal of bullshit I nor anyone else deserves to live with.
But between all the bullshit, and even during all the bullshit, I really enjoy life, and all the things in it. I am content with being able to laugh and share my life with those I am connected to. I am happy to wake up every morning, have coffee, take Micky for a morning walk (some days it is extremely short, really just a quick pee).
I love connecting with my classmates, and learning about subjects I never thought I’d get the chance to.
I am so grateful to have my husband, to talk, to be with, to share life with.
All those things are pretty fabulous.
And sometimes I get to do things I could only before ever dream about.
Despite all the bullshit. All the illness, all the pain. Life is ok.